Sedona
Arizona
May 2018
Odd looking clouds? Nope, they’re not really clouds. Wavy lines on a pond? No, they’re not water currents. Pair of parallel jet contrails? Nope.
They are signs, according to some believers, obvious indicators that someone, or something, is busy.
Sedona AZ is known for many things, running the gamut from A to Z, although Sedona is not known for its agriculture, its manufacturing or its universities. It is known for its signs, signs that someone, or something, is busy.
Sedona is quite well known for its “new age vibe.” Dwight Garner of the New York Times described it thus: “There are more places here to buy crystals, incense and healing stones than there are places to purchase, say, a bag of ice or a hammer.”
Five strangers meet at sunset to motor out to an unknown area in order to see unidentified objects led by a person we’ve never met. Sounds like a sure thing. Our hostess for the evening drives up to the community building of an upscale housing complex where four of us are waiting. She makes five. She jumps out of her semi-beat up Dodge Dart, or maybe it is a Toyota Camry, or a Ford Fiesta, it’s hard to tell in the fading light. She says to each one of us, “UFO?” “UFO?” When we answer “yes,” she processes our credit cards out of the trunk of her car. We participants all say hi and introduce ourselves to each other. She tells us to get in the car so we can drive out to “a place where there is a high level of paranormal activity.” She adds, “I’ll be right back. I’ve got to check on someone else who is supposed to be here.”
I mention, as the four of us dutifully climb into the car, “You realize, don’t you, that we’re all getting into this stranger’s car for her to take us to an unknown place at night and we don’t even know her first name!?”
She’s back, we’re on our way. She drives us through some winding back streets and parking lots to emerge on Highway 89A, the main drag through Sedona. We turn at a corner sporting a Bill Tonnesen “sphere cage” sculpture, a large metal frame globe with a guy either dropping down into the globe from the top, or he’s climbing out. Bronze wolf sculptures surround him. Almost missed the wolves in the diminishing daylight.
Our twenty-minute drive takes us past Yavapai College and near a metal scaffold of some type, perhaps the remains of an amphitheater — or a spaceship hangar — it’s hard to tell as daylight fades. We stop at a dirt clearing at the end of a short rutted road. Anita — we finally asked her name — has taken the opportunity of the drive to alert our expectations. Her monolog includes words like “vortex,” “sightings,” “ley lines” and “paranormal.” I feel like I am in an episode of the X-Files, someone whistling that weird theme music. Anita parks and we exit the vehicle.
It is now full on dark as we stand around, heads thrown back like long neck birds, gawking at the sky. There are a few stars among the two brightest planets. Jupiter is right next to the nearly full moon and brilliant Venus is opposite. The Big Dipper is overhead.
“Let’s wait a bit for our eyes to get accustomed to the dark,” Anita instructs. “Try not to look at the moon. It’s so bright you won’t be able to see anything else.” Of course, we now all look at the moon.
“Look there at Jupiter, right next to the moon. It’s a magnitude 6, the brightest it can ever get.”
Nobody says anything, especially me. I’m a bit of a skeptic about this whole affair but I’ve chosen to be as openminded as I can be about this night’s events. I may ask some questions, but I’m not going to challenge Anita. This time I’m remaining silent because I happen to know that a magnitude 6 star, or planet, is just about at the lowest limit of brightness humans can see. Anything giving off less light would be invisible to us.
Tonight Jupiter happens to be a magnitude -2 (the lower the number, including negative numbers, the brighter the object) which is impressively bright, almost as bright as the king of planets ever gets. Anita was right about that part.
I also don’t mention that Venus tonight is almost magnitude -4, a light so bright you can read by it.
Enough of the science. Let’s get to the UFOs!
Anita opens her trunk and pulls out five pair of night vision devices, or as she calls them, “3rd generation military night vision goggles.” Look through these babies and suddenly we can see the billions of stars we keep hearing about but haven’t seen in the city in decades. It is humbling.
Also humbling is when I learn later that these glasses go for anywhere from $1700 to $10 000.
Me? Like I say, I’m a skeptic. I’m still dubious about the idea of heavier-than-air flight, even though we flew from Pittsburgh to Phoenix in such a vehicle yesterday. I’m particularly dubious about an air or space vehicle that we can’t get a good look at, or ones that won’t check my luggage or serve me a drink once on board.
Lisa and I chose this UFO tour because we can’t lose. If there are skinny, green aliens with almond-shaped eyes piloting airships, we will be astounded, astonished and pleased. If this tour is hokum, we’ll be entertained. Remember, we visited the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine, and had a hoot and a half of a good time. (See my The International Cryptozoology Museum column at https://www.asiwentwalking.com/2024/06/27/the-international-cryptozoology-museum/)
Now the fun begins. But first, a glossary. We’ve already laid out “magnitude.” Following are more terms we may or may not have heard or spoken during our UFO tour…
UFO or Unidentified Flying Object
. more recently called “Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon”
. note that this is a term of non-specificity, rather than a particular, named thing
. it’s unidentified, we don’t know what it is
flying saucer
. sometimes called a “UFO”
. a disc- or saucer-shaped object, commonly compared in looks and shape to that of a Frisbee or one of Grandma’s serving dishes
. often suggested to be a flying craft or a space ship of non-Earthly origin
. mostly silver or metallic looking, sometimes described as having navigation lights, an aura, and attributed the ability to hover or execute maneuvers uncharacteristic of any known Earth-origin craft
. sometimes accompanied by other similar looking objects flying in tight formation
extraterrestrials
. someone or something not of this Earth
. occasionally, when in human-like, symmetrical, bipedal form, referred to as BEMs, Bug-Eyed Monsters or LGMs, Little Green Men
vortex
. they’re real! just watch the water drain from your bathtub
from the book Terravision: A Traveler’s Guide to the Living Planet Earth by Page Bryant…
A vortex is a mass of energy that moves in a rotary or whirling motion, causing a depression or vacuum at the center. These powerful eddies of pure Earth power manifest as spiral-like coagulations of energy that are either electric, magnetic or electromagnetic qualities of life force.
. this is my favorite description from a UIW, Unidentified Internet Website…
Vortices… are considered to be gateways or portals to other realms, both spiritual and dimensional. Vortices typically exist where there are strong concentrations of gravitational anomalies, inturn [sic] creating an environment that can defy gravity, bend light, scare animals, twist plant life into contorted shapes, and cause humans to feel strange.
This sounds like what happened when I tested for my driver’s license.
them
. y’know… “them”
lights
. everyone knows what a light is, that’s not the issue
. lights are an energy generated by electricity, having to do with charged particles
. lights can be bioluminescent, a biochemical emission, like what fireflies and some mushrooms do
. light can be a photochemical reaction, like what the sun does
. and of course, lights can be indicative of a UFO or spacecraft from other worlds — why I didn’t list this first is beyond me
ley lines
. straight lines crossing Earth that demarcate important locations connecting sacred sites, somehow related to vortices
. an energy highway imbued with psychic power
. mentioned by Anita a number of times, and talked about them overlaying Earth’s magnetic lines
. whoa!
psychic
. spooky activity like telepathy or clairvoyance, inexplicable by natural laws
. a clairvoyant, a telepath, a medium, a fortune teller, a crystal gazer, a channeler, a mind-reader, a palm-reader, a college English professor
ESP or ExtraSensory Perception
. a term invented by a psychologist at Duke University, referring to the sensing of information by means other than the standard five recognized senses
. intuition, telepathy, psychometry, clairaudience, clairvoyance, precognition, retrocognition, an’at
sightings
. Look! There! Look at that!
aliens
. see “extraterrestrials”
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
. a movie
alien spaceship?
power up
. an increase of force or energy
. when Anita says it, I guess she means that a BEM or an LGM just turned the ignition key
X-Files
. The Truth is out there.
The Twilight Zone
. The truth was out there.
meteorite
. not a UFO, not a flying saucer, not a message from space persons
. a big rock — made up primarily of iron and nickel — that falls to Earth and glows because of the heat generated by the friction of moving through the atmosphere at high speed
. sometimes they are not that big
. sometimes they don’t glow
ghosts
. let’s not get started on this nonsense
paranormal
. not the usual experience, not benefitted by a vetted scientific explanation
. events that should not be confused with weird scientific concepts such as dark energy or the fourth kind of neutrino
. y’know, flying saucers, UFOs, LGMs, ESP, Yeti, psychic abilities and the like
Now that you are armed and ready with our vocabulary, we are back at our clearing on UFO night and the fun begins. Most of the time we look through our expensive third generation infrared goggles at the sky. Sometimes, Anita directs our attention elsewhere.
“Look that way,” as she points to the west. “That’s Jerome, the most active paranormal area of the country.” As soon as I find Jerome through the glasses, Anita points out something in the opposite direction. “Look at those lights moving. You see that one going to the right?”
Um, no.
Anita’s operating at a high level of energy. Her monolog keeps us jumping. “Look at what’s… Look at what’s here. You can only see it with the goggle. You can’t see it with your eye… Which one is going away… One just disappeared, right here, there’s another one over here. You may not.. l… The tree may be in your way, you may have to come over here. See it? Because the tree’s in your way… Look here, there’s one flashing at us right now. Look, you guys… Over by Jerome…
“See, one is powering up right now. Sometimes they’ll flash back. Shine your laser on him, watch! They’ll flash back at us. Contact!”
I’m concerned about “flashing my laser” at who- or whatever that light is. Couldn’t we blind them and make them crash? And then we get arrested?
“So, Anita,” I say. “Several times this evening you have referred to ‘they.’ What are you talking about? Who or what do you mean by ‘they?’”
Anita surprises me with her response. “I don’t know,” she says. “That’s why those flying objects are unidentified. We don’t know what they are.” This is the most rational thing she has said all night other than “give me your credit card.” Doesn’t last long.
I look through my goggles but they are not adjusted for my eyes. I’m seeing two images of everything.
“Can these eyepieces be adjusted?” I ask, but Anita’s pretty well caught up in the pretty lights.
“Look over that way. Look at that one coming down, it’s diagonal. Look! It’s going to meet the other lights there.”
Once again I’m thinking, not saying, “Y’know, we’re looking exactly in the direction of the Sedona Airport, just two and a half miles away. They have only one runway but I’m sure they use lights when it’s dark out.”
“Get your phones out and hold them up to the eyepieces. I’ll show you some amazing UFO pictures that I caught with my phone.
“It’s not that easy to do, it takes a little bit of practice. As long as you know where your eyepiece is on your phone, you’ll find that infrared… Okay, so he’s now coming down. A lot of them come down. Compare that to the blinking of a plane. It’s very different, they just have to power up.
“Look at that! He’s moving fast. Look at this guy right here. Man! Two of them right there. Didja get that? Flying in formation. This is a good video right now ‘cause you’ve got two, um, this one’s nice and bright, I can see it with my eye right here, can you see ‘im? Right here? So you’ve got the one that’s powering up.”
Clearly Anita herself is powering up.
“Okay, so he’s now coming down, are you able to get the video?
“Here’s a little guy… Oh! He saw my laser…
“A meteor just went by. You all saw that, didn’t you?”
Twenty minutes later, it is time to put away the goggles. But the show isn’t yet over. Anita starts tapping through the thousands of photos she has on her phone. “Look here. See these lights?”
I see a smudge on the screen.
“That’s one that I got just by shooting in the dark. Turn on your flashes and take pictures in the dark. See what you get. There are so many things going on, see what you get.”
We start randomly shooting in the dark, everyone with their cell phones, me with my camera. We’re like bugs in a hot flashpan. Every direction, the ground, the car, the sky, our fellow UFO-nauts. Flashes from every angle. I look at the photos on my camera. I look at the photos taken by my companions. They look like my computer screen when it is turned off. There are tiny white spots and some faint smears. I don’t know what those are either.
“Look at this one.” Anita’s phone shows another photo of the darkness with a smudge. She swipes and swipes. The next one she shows us is a distinct light, one where, she tells us, there shouldn’t be one.
“And here, right under the tree there, look at these lights. I tell you, there was a saucer right under this tree. Look at this, look at these lights. See the saucer?”
I look at her screen and see four lights, but admittedly, no saucer. I look under the tree. Dirt. Roots. No lights, no saucer. It’s hard to tell in the dark.
Someone asks, “Anita, you do this every night?”
“Not every night. Sometimes I take people out on a ghost tour, or we visit the vortices.”
Quoting her own on-line guarantee, Anita says, “This isn’t paranormal. It’s normal!”
I found a link to a New York Times article about Anita and her tour. I clicked on the link and here’s what returned…
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We’re sorry. there is a problem with the page you requested.
We are investigating the error, please try again soon.
Irony?
As I said, there are five of us on this tour. Our other two UFO enthusiasts are Fred & Carrie. Starting in the parking lot where we initially meet and throughout the evening, they are enamored with each other, the kind of “get a room” enamored. We can’t help but notice.
“How’d you guys meet?” Lisa asks them when they come up for air. We’re in the car after our sightings.
“We worked with rescue pigs,” Fred explained.
“You’re pig preservationists?”
“You’d be surprised how many pigs are abandoned.”
“Yes. I would be.”
Carrie then made the bold statement, “Y’know, there is no such thing as a teacup pig.”
“I’ve heard of those,” I say.
“People buy a piglet to be a pet and they are told that these cute little porcine darlings will never grow any larger. Y’know, ‘teacup pigs.’
“Well, they do grow larger. ‘Teacup pigs’ are simply very young pigs. They are so adorable, and the public is so gullible, that we believe they will stay small and cute.
“They don’t.”
“Look,” cries Anita. “Javelina!” We are leaving the dirt clearing to get back on the main road, Anita driving us, when we come upon a squadron of javelina. They look suspiciously like teacup pigs.
We do our share of gawking — Lisa and I never see javelina in Pittsburgh. They look like pigs, it’s hard to tell in the dark.
Fred is riding in the front seat with Anita. He states, “Y’know, the javelina is a cross between a hippopotamus and a rat.”
It is suddenly quiet in the car. I can hear Anita’s worn right rear bearing. The turn signal is clicking. The more we ponder Fred’s statement, the more speechless we are.
Finally Anita speaks up. It is the first time this evening she seems unsure of what she is going to say. “How do they… y’know… what… how does that happen?”
There is a long pause. Fred quietly says, “There are many things in this world that I can’t explain.”
That’s right, Fred. Javelina are not a cross between a hippopotamus and a rat. Even nature couldn’t pull that one off.
Even though I have visited the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine, and even though I read H G Wells’ War of the Worlds, and even though I never forget the umlaut in Erich von Däniken’s name, and even though I saw the movie Alien, and even though In Advance of the Landing by Douglas Curran is on my bookshelf, I’ve never come upon the idea that maybe, just maybe, those alien craft might be piloted by javelina. It’s a little too dark to tell.
Look at that!