Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Spring 2016
This is Jean-Clawed. He lives with me. We’re roommates.
This is what Jean-Clawed is looking at.
This… thing… is on my back porch. It is an opossum. It does not live with me. Clearly, you can see that, by the expression on Jean-Clawed’s face.
What we have here is the two extremes. When he’s not on high alert, when his suspicions rest, Jean-Clawed is the most adorable, gentlest critter ever to exist. He is always of surpassing cute-itude
An opossum, in any state of mind whatever, is at the other end of the spectrum, if you ask me, one of the most hideous critters to burden the earth. Double oh my!
So what’s the deal with these uglies? And exactly what animal was it on my back porch? Was it a possum or was it an opossum?
Most of the answer to this question comes from the Opossum Society of the United States. Really.
The opossum is a marsupial, the only one in North America. Being a marsupial means that, opposite of bicyclists, you have a front pocket.
They are kind of like ugly gardeners, eating snails and slugs, spiders, worms, cockroaches, rats, mice and snakes and the occasional chicken. They will raid garbage cans and dumpsters. In a pinch, they’ll dine on grass, nuts and fruit. The OSUS calls them, “Nature’s Little Sanitation Engineer.” Pretty catchy, eh?
But concerning our most pressing issue — was that a possum or an opossum that had Jean-Clawed transfixed — there is considerable confusing information out there. Some sources say the possum and the opossum are the same animal, some say they are different beasts and we-who-name-them are just lazy. Here’s the best I could find…
| opossum (Didelphidae) | possum (Phalangeridae) |
| North American marsupial | Australian marsupial |
| white face, white toes – grayish-white body | four primary color variations – silver-gray, brown, black, gold |
| black ears and feet | larger ears |
| coarse fur | fur is softer and more bushy |
| 50 sharp teeth* | 34 small teeth |
| bare, rat-like tail | bushy tail covered in fur |
*These 50 teeth qualify the opossum as the toothiest wild mammal in North America. Certain whales however — whales are mammals too — have up to 240 teeth (they’re not all North American.) Blue whales have no teeth.
Snails? You wanna talk teeth? Garden snails have around 14 000 teeth, give or take a few.
That still means we must not get bitten by a possum and especially not by an opossum, which is more likely.