Salisbury
Connecticut
May 2014
Today, we hike Bear Mountain in Connecticut, just about the highest summit in the state.
The woman working behind the desk at the “beautifully decorated boutique country inn” where we stay one night, asks, “Where are you off to today?”
When I use the phrase, “beautifully decorated boutique country inn,” I am quoting the website. I am also sarcastically quoting the website as, after staying there one night, Lisa and I do not share the website’s opinion. It ain’t that beautifully decorated. It’s kind of tacky.
Anyway, she asks, “Where are you off to today?”
“A little bit of hiking,” I tell her.
“Oh, the Railroad Ramble?” “The Railroad Ramble” is the name of the local rail trail. The “rail trail” system is a former railroad passage that has been discontinued, the track pulled up and the surface paved or cindered or chipped, for the use of walkers, runners and bicyclists. Lisa often does training runs on a local rail trail.
“Oh, the Railroad Ramble?” she asks.
“Nope. Bear Mountain today.”
“Oh the bear are out. They’re pretty bad this year. There are so many of them. They come down into town and raid our garbage cans. They just tear the place up, make a mess of the yards. They come in families, whole clots of bear.”
Clots?
So that there’s no suspense, there are no bear horror stories in this column.
Now about these “clots.” First, bear are not known for hanging out in groups. When they do, however, they are called packs, mauls or sleuths. Never clots. They are generally solitary unless Mama is traveling with her cubs. That’s the time you really need to be careful. Ordinarily, bear are not any more interested in an encounter with humans than we are in mixing it up with them. But when they travel with the youngins, Mama Bear is fiercely protective and if she senses any threat to her cubs, she will become aggressive. Don’t ever come between a mama and her cubs, physically or philosophically. She will just beat the living crap out of you. And not even wish you a good day.
The bear come down off the mountain into the town of Salisbury for dessert. They are big, up to 550 pounds, and they’ve got to eat a lot to keep their ursine figures. Have you ever tried to catch a salmon out of a running stream? It’s not as easy as on the Disney Channel, so the bear eat lots of berries, honey and bugs, and they have learned that there is a whole smorgasbord of tasty human-discarded garbage in population centers, only they don’t call it garbage. They think of it as dessert.
Whatever do we do when out on the trail (in the home of the clots of bear) to keep them from rudely taking our food from us? It would be cozy if we could simply ask the bear not to partake. Maybe we could erect a sign pointing the most efficient route to Salisbury. We could try, but it is widely known that bear cannot read, and although they like to sing, they are not that good at harmony. Besides, a hungry bear might eat the sign.
Sometimes while camping, we place our food into “bear cans.” Made of high impact plastic, these containers are designed to lock away our “smellables.” They are equipped with a closure that bear, intelligent as they are, cannot open.
One manufacturer’s bear can is so sturdy that it is rated “bear-proof” by every agency that has ever tested it. To get inside, you need to put pressure on a particular depression, unscrew the lid partway and press on another depression. Then it will open. Even the grizzly bear can’t open this can, and grizzlies can open anything.
Except for one bear who lived in the Adirondack Mountains in New York. Her name was Yellow-Yellow and she was a special bear. She learned to grip the can with her paws, use a tooth to press on the depression and turn the lid with her mouth. This was one braniac of a bear. She became famous for her Houdini-like skill in getting to your food, even when in a bear can. Ya gotta root for her. Except that she died in 2012.
Several hundred bear live in Connecticut. Well over three and a half million people live in Connecticut. What are you worried about?